1308

I believe that the saying is 'A true alcoholic can always find a way to get booze.' My roomate and I were just that alcoholic yesterday. It's been a rough month with being in Philly for a week and NYC for another, that's a great chunk of missed work. Bills are piling up and the bottom of the barrel has more than approached at this point. However shitty chains of events call for certain actions, and those actions come in bottles.

I get back from NYC to find that some dickhole has stolen the license plate off of my car. The bills have their own bills now, and the collectors are well into my ass at this point. My girl has broken up with me 4 times since I've been home (this is actually somewhat normal but it's still super stressful), and last night my ride bailed on me stranding me at work after I got my balls chewed into by some cunt of a mother of one of my students.

I am thirsty.

I also have the knowledge that I have $0.38 in the ole bank account and but one 5 spot in the wallet. I also have a bucket of pennies in the office and a small change jar at home. The mission is to get 2 good boozehounds drunk, and retain enough cigarettes to sustain both of us through it all. Ryan picked my late ass up from work with bucket 'o pennies in tow. First stop- the mailbox. We'll call it quality check, you never know when some kind family member sent out 20 bones just to say they were thinking about you and missed you. This can be the difference between a night of Thunderbird or a night of Chablis. Quality Check: Mailbox negative. But we were determined. Ryan found a small handful of change in his room and I grabbed my little jar and it was off to spend 8.9 cents on the dollar at the Coinstar!

We hit the road to the local Fry's and were snuffed out by shit luck. Coinstar needed a helping key from the manager and damnit we just didn't have that kind of time! So we went next door- to the other Fry's- God I love Arizona mass community planning- and on the way there we scored! Ryan had purchased a buy one get one free Parliament Light pack and had forgotten about the second pack in the door panel! Things are looking good and the booze diety's are smiling upon us so far.

$13.08. That's the magical Coinstar number.

To the booze section! Fleischman's Vodka 750ml on sale at $6.99. One liter of bargain tonic- $0.69. Ry to top it all off and make it close- Bud Light 32 oz'ers 2 for $5. We knew it was gonna be close but we braved the checkout line anyway. Beep beep beep beep the numbers kept increasing and we were damn near at $16 when I pulled out the last trick we had up our sleeves. The Fry's Super Shopper Discount Card. With one swipe of the magical black strip the numbers dropped back down, to $13.08 on the digits! It felt like winning the poverty stricken lil' booze lottery. This was going to be the tastiest hobo swill ever.

And now I write to you, my dear friends, with just a tinge of a cheap vodka hangover. Just what I was hoping for. Cheers!